Word of the year

Christmas Photo a Day, December 31, 2019

I KNOW Barbara Walters’ voice is in your head as we get ready— Say it with me– “I’m Barbara Walters and THIS is 20/20.”

Word of the year.

2020 hindsight… .people always say, well, if only I had known this would be the result of that, I’d have done it differently, … that idea that being able to see into the future would change the decisions you make as you go through your life….

But your life, your life experiences–all of them, good bad or indifferent– have put you in the spot you are standing right now, with the people you are surrounded by, loving, working with, raising…. so, if you had 20/20 hindsight….would you use it? Of course, if you had known that I-95 was going to be backed up 6 miles, you might have taken 288 instead, right? Then your boss wouldn’t be on your case about being late again.

But, what I mean, is for the big stuff, would you use it?

When I was 13, my mother, who had abandoned me when I was three, convinced my newly teenaged rebellious self that I was wanted once again. That my strict grandparents only wanted to deny her more than an every second Sunday visitation, and that I would have freedom and love and A MOTHER if I moved back with her. I believed her.

Instead, I became Dobby the House elf and the primary caregiver of my 3 year old brother, and disappointed my grandparents beyond belief. They still loved me till the day they died. (I don’t recall getting the love part, or the mother part.)

In hindsight, though, using that 20/20 vision…. I can’t say I would change a thing. Because I met my daughter’s father on the bus-stop going to high school in sophomore year. A bus stop I would have never been on, going to a school I probably wouldn’t have attended. Then, I wouldn’t have my daughter. I might have had other children, but not HER. And that would mean I would be missing that experience, that child that I love, that woman who I adore with all my heart. THAT I can’t imagine.

And if I hadn’t had her, then, maybe I would have gone to a different college, and not met friends who are still my besties 35 years later. I could had a different career, in a different place, and met different people, and not had the chance I had when I met my hunny, and if hadn’t met him, I also wouldn’t have my granddaughter, and…. It’s not even close, is it?

LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHILE YOU ARE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS. (john lennon)

So, how to tie this into a word of the year?

CLARITY. That is the word of the year.

clar·​i·​ty | \ ˈkler-ə-tē  , ˈkla-rə- \ the quality or state of being clear.

How I see it being used this year is somewhat amorphous … unclear… I know… It’s a work in progress, even to define…

2020… we are heading into the Roaring Twenties??

But it is important that we (I, it’s MY word of the year) see things clearly. Be certain that decisions and opinions are coming from a place of clarity and informed thought, rather than knee-jerk reactionary behaviors. This can be as little as if I am posting a Meme, have I done due diligence? Do I know that the website it may take you to isn’t simply collecting your personal information for purposes that may not be honorable? I don’t want to misinform, and I DO want others to have clarity of information, because decisions need to be made this year, and we need to be eyes wide open and we all need to see clearly, no matter how uncomfortable clarity of vision may be.

So, CLARITY. What do I want and how to get there, visualized? Like I have said in years past. the word appeared, as it does, without my prompting– I will go with it.

FOCUS! On the Word of the Year.

(I was somewhat astonished that FOCUS has never been “my word” before… I am a photographer, right? You would have thought I would have STARTED with that one and then moved on 😉)

However, I had started this “Word of the Year” with a FOCUS on quilting…indeed I think where I first heard of a “Word of the Year” was in an online quilt forum. So, my brain didn’t go elsewhere. And as I have stated before, the word picks me.  If I consciously settle on “Abracadabra” as my word, some other word jumps out and says, “Not so fast, there, I get a say, too.” (here is last year’s post, and my entire word list since I started this exercise)

“FOCUS” is the opposite of “Rabbit Hole”, in case you were wondering…

And I think THAT is actually the point of this word.

I can’t have it all. (I know, what a bummer!) I can’t DO it all, either.  And I think there’s a lot of “ooh, shiny thing” in my world. …I am interesting, dammit! Or interested. .. or distracted, or something…

I need to FOCUS. (Which is a sneaky way of saying resolution, if you aren’t careful, so I will be VERY CAREFUL…)

FOCUS on essentials: Health, family, friends, finances, work-related.

FOCUS on topics of interest– Genealogy vs quilting vs photography vs travel vs gardening (Giving that one up as a focus…. Easy. …Because no matter what my intent is at the beginning of the spring, by late spring it’s too hot, too buggy and I stop- this does NOT mean you won’t be getting garden photos when I am enjoying it, by the by…)

I have a laundry list of THINGS I WANT TO DO. I really need to FOCUS on 2 or 3, accomplish them, having given them the time, FOCUS and energy they deserve and then, move on. Enough of trying to fit A, B, C, D, E and F into one day off…

But, also, I can’t do ONLY one, because I do tend to flit.  I need to have some A list/left brain things, AND some B list/right brain things so that I don’t burn out on any one thing.

Genealogically, I REALLY need to transcribe and scan and then disperse originals to a place that is capable of caring for them. And, of course, disseminating the information to family. I don’t need the TREE part done, I feel pretty confident there, at least back 8 or 9 generations and even off into various branches. But there is SO MUCH paper! (Thanks, aunt Gertrude!) Following up beyond that, I would like to consolidate some of the info into a bound photo book. This is a HUGE project overall. Will I finish in a year? Doubtful…. but I do need to get it moving.

Quilting?  I am embarrassed to express in numbers the quantity of unfinished quilts –(unfinished, in my lexicon, indicates the TOP isn’t done)– let’s just say I don’t need to be inspired by any new ideas, I have plenty of things to keep me busy.

Photography? Household? Career? Yep, this could grow unwieldy, and fast! I will be making similar lists for each of these topics, and will try to focus on completion…

I have settled on a list making, journal type thing…. The Happy Planner was too much– it seemed to me like the making of the page became more important than the list or the doing…

IMG_6525

Yes, I took that lens and cleaned it after seeing all that dust!!!

“The best camera is the one you have with you,”–(Chuck Jarvis) and so I am sticking to that concept in choosing “One Note’ …. I auditioned many, read a lot of threads other friends  started on FB, took all their responses, loaded up my iPad with Apps and played for the last two weeks. (Anything that required monthly payments or such in order to unlock its magical real potential was an immediate NO)

I loved and liked a lot of features on a lot of different apps, but settled on One Note for a variety of reasons which are particular to my needs.  If you are looking for a productivity app, that is actually the best way to do it… ask people for recommendations but choose for your “learning style”.

I am also totally going to admit I hardly ever live up to this post. Quiz me in March about what my word was. I dare ya!

HAPPY 2019! It looks like it will be AMAZING. (here’s hoping, anyway!)

Joy!

Say goodbye to 2017 (Good riddance?) Hello, 2018 (Here’s hoping!)

My word of the year is MINDFUL. (I thought it was going to be JOY.  Really, I thought I had this years word taken care of early.) That’s what I get for thinking I had control of this little yearly exercise; as you hear me whine every year, I don’t get to pick the word. It picks me.

MINDFUL? Certainly, it’s a word that requires a bit of thinking—I just got up for a sweater; it’s chilly here in the studio at the moment, and I know I had a sweater when I came home. And so, I looked in two spots in the house and then went and found a different one.  And I returned to sit down, and guess what I had thoughtlessly draped over the chair I was sitting on? THAT is not a mindful experience!

But, I wanted JOY!! That was the word. I knew it! I am in the middle of my first Festival of KonMari-ing my home, keeping only those things that spark JOY! Joy, as opposed to minimalism. I am somewhat wary, having read the books, to become so devoted so quickly that I toss out all my everything, simply because it doesn’t bring me JOY.

I am on a message board where others are on this journey, and I won’t lie, as many of their experiences I am envious of, there are just as many who I fear are going too gung-ho, too quickly and they may regret it.  I am aware that things are just that–THINGS. But, I have reservations when they get to the place that they are tossing memories like so much old garbage. The throwing out of letters, of PHOTOS or selling of heirlooms because they are essentially on a “Fad Diet “… What happens when they no longer are satisfied with nothing and want the old back? Yes, you can buy new everything except new memories and tangible reminders of such. (I digress…this is a word of the year post. But feel free to contact me to talk about KonMari I’ve added this hyper-link because she seems to be doing it right –this isn’t a one-weekend slog!)

But, as this word JOY has been with me while I am doing my modified exercises toward the goal not of nothing, but of only things that spark joy, the word MINDFUL popped up.  And wouldn’t leave.

And then I got this for Christmas.

MINDFUL.img_0429

I can’t throw away all my anything, because JOY to me comes from knowing I can go into a drawer and pull out that random something or other, rather than the stress and expense of having to stop by the store to buy a new one of something all the time. I find JOY not in having a butter knife that I can turn to when I have a screw that needs to be tightened, but a toolbox with a screwdriver. Yes, if I was in a pinch, a butter knife would do the trick. I don’t want to live my entire life in a pinch, however.

Mindful means that as I Kon Mari’ed all my shirts, I got rid of a lot of things that didn’t fit well, or that didn’t look good. I still have more than I NEED, of course I do. (What appealed to me at the beginning is that she doesn’t say you can only have 4 or 6 shirts, but to keep only the shirts that bring you joy, whatever the number)  I tossed, folded, organized and limited the space for the shirts. But, now, if I am MINDFUL of that drawer, and I am honest about what is in there, I am aware that I am wearing still only a fraction of what I kept. What I felt I needed.

So, MINDFUL. Doing one thing at a time, rather than multi-tasking?  Sure. That is a tough one. Trying to be present in the moment…. choosing that quilt pattern and settling down to watch it develop into a gift and thinking about how the person may react? I can do that. Not mindlessly cutting fabric because it’s there, but thinking through what I hope to accomplish, and being present for that time. Vacuuming. Hmmm….that’s a mindless activity! There’s 14-16 hours that I am awake…am I MINDFUL of the things that happen, the interactions I have, the responses I give or things that are said? We shall see!

I know you want to see them, so here are (links to all the other Words of the year with which I have indulged myself ….) Happy NEW YEAR!!!!

(Hey, BY THE WAY, THIS was my 1,000th post!!!!)

And this article, just found it works with the MINDFUL part of things… not so much to save or not spend, but to be aware ….