SNOW

Since it seems like EVERYONE is about to be walloped, I thought I would pull out this essay I wrote eons ago.

2010 dec 13-8 copy

The first thing that you realize as consciousness overtakes your dream state is an odd quality to the light that hits your closed eyelids. It isn’t that squinty red feeling you get when toasting yourself on a beach, but a soothing whiteness. Your alarm clock hasn’t gone off yet, so you feel obligated to just lie there, trying to interpret the feeling. You realize that there is no sound in your world. You don’t hear the cars and doors and dogs and birds and all the other white noises that tend to occupy space and time.

The sounds you never notice until they leave a void. You feel particularly comfortable, not as if you would dread getting up, but you don’t have the same desire to stay abed as you do when you are rudely awakened by the alarm mere hours after retiring. In other words, you feel peaceful, and well rested. Then knowledge of what is happening reaches you, in the deeply echoing sound of metal hitting pavement on an oblique angle as it scrapes a path in the…snow!

A snow day!!

Only snow can, of all weather, elicit such emotions in people. Those who complain are probably grinches, and despite their grumbling, probably lie in bed like you and I thinking of the snowmen or great snowball fights of their youth. Snow is inherently different from other forms of weather. The sun goes away, every day, no matter how sunny. Rain, once it stops, exists nowhere but in puddles. The wind, unless gentle, is feared and people prepare to fight mightily to protect their lives and belongings when they hear it will be visiting. Snow is physical in a way that no other weather can be.

Snow is sculptural, and it is sculpted. Snow can be picked up and moved. It can be molded into different shapes, and it can be thrown. Snow wants to be touched. Sometimes it is soft, and fluffy, and tickles cheeks and eyelashes. Sometimes it can be dense and so strong that it can be walked on. It can balance on objects less than an inch wide. It is quiet, too. Snow comes silently. Oh, people fear snow. But mostly at the inconveniences it causes. If it rains you leave a few minutes early to take a route that doesn’t flood. Snow wants you to really think about it. Will I be able to get to the store for milk? It is the kind of weather that brings back those hunting and gathering, hibernating instincts.

Survival.

How long will it take to move snow from the car, the driveway? And will you be plowed back in? Can you admit to never picking up some of the snow from the car and forming a snowball, even if there is no one to throw it at? It is an exercise in sentiment, because as you move it from one place to another, more convenient spot, you certainly recall a snow day from your childhood. Of the percolating excitement as you dressed to go out to make “snow angels“, to fling yourself into a flat unmarked area of pure white where no foot had yet stepped. The purity of the white, the unerring evenness of the coating, the amazement as you stepped off the porch up to your knees and sank slowly into its softness. Of not having school and having grandma ready with the hot cocoa when you finally came inside, looking very much like the snowman you just finished building. Snow chunks hanging from every fiber of your scarf and hood and mittens, and the sound of swishing snow pants and frozen toes and shiny red cheeks and noses. Of being sent to a radiator to remove layer after layer, a warm dry sweater waiting to take its place.

As a child of the most amazing aspects to snow was its staying power. Snow, if piled correctly, densely enough, high enough, if it rained or melted a bit and then froze again, could provide a mountain to climb until Easter! Even as daffodils and tulips came from the soft spring ground, there would be a game of king of the mountain going on (right where third base would be in spring)

Snow alone causes a kind of community that generally doesn’t exist. People tend to get to know neighbors on snow days. They trade shovels, or dig out one car at a time. People who would barely nod acquaintance at any other time become, if only for the moment, pals. They chat and joke, complain and shrug. We are all in it together. The street where I grew up was private, one that was not plowed by the city. The whole street was shoveled by the residents, one shovelful at a time. Everyone went out to help. One person had a truck and he went up to each house and took grocery orders (we always needed cat food!) and he ventured off our block. If we knew snow was coming, most of the cars were parked on the next street so people could get to work.

What other weather causes people to behave in quite the same way? It is the only weather that stays. It may rain on Tuesday, be sunny on Wednesday. But if it snows on Thursday, you start thinking about sledding trips on Saturday! Truly there is magic in snow! (and to think that each flake is an individual) We usually dream of a White Christmas, but don’t get our snow until far later in the season, when it doesn’t help the ambiance of the holiday, yet, still deep down, we all long for a snow day. On a snow day things don’t have to get accomplished.

You can maroon yourself in your home.

Lie on the couch with tea and a novel or popcorn and a video.

Write a letter, or look through boxes of old photos.

Forget so many of your responsibilities. Put them off until tomorrow.

Reassess priorities. Realize what’s really important.

Put on gloves and scarves and boots and lip balm and go play in the snow with your dogs, your children or your memories.

Trish Casey, 12/1995. first published in the Women’s Forum, a column of the Staten Island Advance.

Deep Freeze

Happy January 1, 2013 ….

Who is up for a challenge?

I don’t know if it could be considered FUN, but it will be a challenge.

A “Deep Freeze” on spending.  I am thinking no extraneous spending for the month of January.

I don’t think a cash only system is necessary,Money (you know yourself) but a list of questions that should be asked before any spending:

  • DO I NEED IT? (why??)
  • CAN I USE SOMETHING ELSE?
  • CAN I BORROW IT?
  • CAN I WAIT TILL FEBRAURY 1? (It’s a “It doesn’t make sense to put off buying seats at the theatre if they are cheaper if you buy them earlier or they sell out”  kind of question)
  • DO I NEED IT???(yes, again.)

I am not advocating paying on the minimum on your credit card kind of freeze, but a freeze on acquiring new things/saving money challenge.

Food— Minimal amounts of money to be spent. 

  • I do not have access to either a cow or a deep freezer/extra fridge, so I can’t run out this weekend and load up on whole milk for when Layla visits.
  • But I CAN look in the freezer and cabinets and identify the minimal amount of meats and vegetables required to utilize a clean out of the pantry kind of menu, and go to the grocery store for those items.
  • Lunch for work packed from home.

Gas— Well, if I am not driving over hill and dale to hit up sales at stores I don’t need to be in, I should be able to spend a smaller amount?  Go to Gas Buddy and check out the daily gas rates, but it doesn’t make sense to DRIVE for a penny less, either, unless it works out that I am heading that way.

What else is there, anyway?  Obviously, all bills will be paid —utilities, etc. And I never pay minimums on credit cards, so that would stay the same.

Gifts, entertainment, toys—

  • Buying a gift for a birthday IN January makes sense, talking myself into stockpiling for all the gifts needed and Christmas 2013 is out.
  • Thread to finish a project I am in the middle of, yes….Acquisition for the stash, out.
  • Movies and the rest—sensible expenditures. I have already made a date with my daughter to see Les Mis this afternoon, so….
  • A drink or snack at the cash register …how far away from where I am going AM I anyway?

But I WANT (NEED) IT—

  • Adding these items to the list of things I DID buy/spend money on….have a wish list column of “I can’t live without it today but TOTALLY don’t need it”…along with the cost and location of purchase, and revisit the list on February 1.

It’s not a “how much you SAVED using coupons to grocery shop” kind of challenge—Because I can SAVE a lot of money if I hit up all those awesome sales, but was it money I needed to SPEND??  Couponing seems to make one more likely to spend, so they can SAVE so much…and the items—well, how much toothpaste and hair color can one USE??

I will do this with a list on my iPhone. All monies spent and where they went. (Can not buy an app to do so!! Not a NEED!) There isn’t a dollar amount I can assign to myself to spend per day or week or month— or to you. I don’t know your needs.

I will succeed in this challenge if I am made more aware of my spending habits, and so will you.!

Let me know if you are joining in, and keep us posted on how you feel you are doing!

Announcing ‘CHOOSE”… my word for 2013

“Another year over, a new one just begun….” (Happy Christmas, by John Lennon)

2012 was difficult for a lot of souls….. I hope for peace Peacefor all the hurting hearts…Broken heartand that in 2013, they will be able to move forward.  (2013. What  WILL Triskaidekaphobiac’s do?)

For the past few years, starting with an online quilting group, I’ve chosen a word to identify/shape/define the year.  Past words: Insight, Inclusive, Deliberate, Balance, Motion, Weather….. (wander through the archives to possibly read a bit about the words.)

I have never chosen the word, it CHOOSES me. (It’s something like writing fiction— when your characters are determined to do what THEY want, and the heck with your plans for them….)  I actually am envious of some of the words that others come up with, but they don’t feel right, right now.  So, I wait. I hear words as I go about my day, and one of them usually just latches on. Can’t shake it off, even as I wonder, ‘why this word?’

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”  Freewill, by Rush. 

(I actually didn’t get to Choose this word, because IT won’t leave my head. Or let others in.  But, I digress Smile with tongue outSo, my word is Choose. (not Jimmy Choo’s shoes, lol)

How can this word impact my day to day existence? The word was meant first as an exercise for honing in on artistic endeavors. 

I can choose to finish a project, or call it good—move on, and acknowledge I am gaining nothing from completing it except the act of crossing it off a list.IMG_1078

If it isn’t doing anything more positive than that, then is completion more important than choosing how I expend my mental, emotional and artistic energy? (Although done IS better than perfect, is DONE necessary?)  I can choose to tackle a project over my head, and reach deeper into myself to find a way to complete, and enter into a show, risking rejection, or I can choose to believe I wouldn’t be juried in in any event and not risk failure.IMG_2495

I can choose to go to bed with the dirty dishes hanging over my head, or I can wake to a shiny sink. (they don’t by the way. I rarely feel guilt over the lack of a clean kitchen!Winking smile)

I can choose to buy the next new shiny thing, or I can watch my balances go down.  I can choose to do something about the pain in my foot, thumb, shoulder, back, or continue to ignore it.  I can choose to accept that I like my stuff, and the way it surrounds me, or I can keep attempting to cater to others expectations and put it away, out of view, in matching plastic totes or pretty hat boxes: more spending! ( I am sorely susceptible to the attraction of pretty hatboxes, alas…Michael’s just got in some REALLY pretty ones…and I just came up with another PERFECT use for one of my plastic totes…)  I can choose to work in chaos, or orchestrate my mind to find a quieter existence.  I can choose to say no, or I can be overwhelmed by all the hands reaching in for a part of me.

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I can choose to sleep in, or I can fill every available hour with tasks and projects. I can choose to wake up happy,

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I can choose to see the positive in daily interactions,  I can choose to be kind, 2008 SanDiego-164 5x7

I can choose to have empathy, I can choose to move on, I can choose to let it go.

I can choose. Note that CHOOSE is a Verb. An action word. I can choose a lot of things, but not how many hours there are in a day, or how many days I get to live. florida 4-25-2009 1-03-07 PM2009 April-RAW 8x

Party smileHave the happiest of New Years.Martini glassParty smile Be safe and be wonderful!